All my life, thus far, I always feel as if I'm screaming and no one hears me. The same goes for when I try to do stuff like Relay for Life and my messages go ignored. I try not to be pushy or demanding but it makes me feel insignificant when I participate, ask for donations and people just ignore me. I know that's what's happening because when other people do similar events, people respond, I respond. It's kind of the same with some old classmates as well. They kind of act like "oh hi," like I have the plague but when they met my sister they're all like "Oh you're Gemma's sister. Yeah I went to school with her," and they all love her while never gave me the time of day and still don't. That's why my sister never heard me speak of them or I was never friends on facebook with them. The same thing goes for certain people in my life as well. Their feelings are significant but mine are not. I'm just too sensitive and overreact about everything. It took confirmation from my close friends to find that I'm not crazy so then I ask myself, what's wrong with me that people react to me in this way?
Everyone says stupid things or things they regret so why when I do it does it then define me? I don't define myself by that but others do. Therefore writing has been my outlet. I'm happy to see people reading it and caring about what I have to say because for once I feel like I'm being heard. I carry a lot of things with me and the experiences I've had have ended up being transformed into one of my stories. I know with my rants I get very passionate about what I'm talking about. I don't mean to judge others or come down hard but there are double standards going on. I'm like the queen of having double standards done to so I know what I'm talking about.
To all of you who read my blog and follow me on twitter, I appreciate it because it means you like reading my thoughts and opinions. It is you who help me to use my voice because you let me know you're listening. This is why I write. It's not just because of my love for books or my love of exploring my imagination. It's because it's an outlet for me to share with all of you. So as I continue to work hard to get my writing career off the ground, I want you to know that I will remember all of you on my rise to do what I love and to make a living doing it. I hold you all close to my heart and to those I help with my constructive criticism, I thank you for being open to it and communicating with me about it. You, my readers, are the best and I love you.
I have one more class and then I graduate with my Masters in creative writing. So let's get this party started! Thank you from the bottom of my heart and God bless each of you.
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